The Simplest of Delights (IV): The Family Dog

Back in 2008 our family welcomed a sixth member into our clan, our family dog Trixie. I’m not sure any of us had a clue how big a role Trixie would go on to play in our life, binding us all together over a shared responsibility for her well being (this is, I think, one of the things a family pet does; it’s one of the few relationships of care in the family that parents and children can equally carry, putting us all on the same footing of affection).

Trixie is going on 14 now, and we are entering the autumn season of pet ownership, patiently watching the sun set on her life. She is 100% blind and is beginning to lose her hearing. She has difficulty keeping food down and can’t be trusted on the couch anymore. But she’s not got any of the aches and pains that many dogs struggle with in old age, making them irritable and un-cuddle-able. Trixie still very much enjoys sitting in a lap and soaking up as much human touch as she can get.

In The Four Loves, C. S. Lewis talks about the Greek word storge, which refers to a kind of affectionate love that binds people together in bonds of fondness and familiarity[1]. A parent’s love for her child is storge love. So is the love shared between siblings, or the love passed among comrades, perhaps, in war. It is that affectionate, admiring, unconditional positive regard shared between people who have in some sense been “thrown together” by chance.

When it comes to feeling storge love for our pets, Lewis is somewhat ambivalent. He acknowledges the natural human tendency to do so, but also cautions against using pets to meet a need more properly met by human beings. His caution has to do with inappropriate distortions of love, however, of exploiting other living creatures (human or animal) by treating them solely as means to meet our own selfish ends. I don't think Lewis would have any objection to that healthy, generous fondness for animals that pets so often engender in their owners. In many other places in his writings, he speaks affectionately and compassionately about animals (he was especially fond of dogs and horses), and he often emphasized our creaturely kinship with the animal creation. Even in his discussion of storge in The Four Loves, he suggests that one of the best images we have for this particualr kind of love is found in the instinctive love that animals show to their young: “The image we must start with is that of a . . . [dog] or a cat with a basketful of puppies or kittens; all in a squeaking, nuzzling heap together; purrings, lickings, baby-talk, milk, warmth, the smell of young life.” There is something about storge that reminds us of, and strengths our connection to the rest of God’s creatures.

Caring for a pet over the course of its life tends to deepen our capacity for storge love. It teaches us what it means to have unconditional positive regard for a creature that cannot benefit us, really, in any other way than through the storge it offers us in return. Trixie has poured overflowing measures of storge love into our family life over the years, and in a mysterious way, our shared affection for her has helped to deepen our affection for one another.

This is not the only thing loving a pet does for those who love them well. Research has shown that owning a pet can relieve depression, increase self-esteem, lower stress hormones and reduce anxiety. One study found that simply petting a dog for 15 minutes can lower your blood pressure by up to 10% [2]. I’ve not done any formal studies of my own, but my intuition tells me that after fifteen minutes of petting Trixie, I experienced all these outcomes and more: greater calmness, a deeper sense of well-being, and a stronger feeling of being grounded and connected to the world.

I’ve been reflecting over the last few weeks on things in my life that improve my daily positive affect. Small things, that is to say, that I can work into my routine to give me regular moments of joy. I don’t know how many days we have left with Trixie, but I do know—and the psychology and the theology both back me up on this one—that so long as we have her with us, one of the simplest ways to improve my “positivity hygiene,” is just to take some time and express some storge for our family dog.