The Storm Before the Calm

In a previous post about my burn-out, I shared some thoughts on the difference between self-care and self-medication, and I alluded to the irony, that often when we neglect self-care, we turn to self-harm as a way self-medicating.  This is another song I wrote early on in the dark time, which sort of deals with all that.  Sometimes it's easier to say in verse what we can't say in prose.



The Storm Before the Calm

Here comes the adrenaline rush burning to my cheeks
Here comes relief from things that I haven’t felt for weeks
And it breaks across the sky
And it breaks against the skin
Like the lightning when it crashes to the ground
And the thunder rolls off ominously but it doesn’t make a sound

Here comes the whipping wind like a slap across the face
Here comes the fire storm that doesn’t leave a trace
And I’d stop it if I could
But it feels pretty good
And it feels even better when it stops
You wanna ride that fire storm all the way to the top
(of the bottom)

It’s the storm before the calm (don’t worry)
Just the storm before the calm
I know the hurt inside is a lousy way to feel alive
Ride that storm out till it’s gone

Here comes an answer to a question I didn’t ask
Here comes an answer tracing cracks across my mask
Cause the clay is wearing thin
And the heart behind the skin
Is fraying on the edges of my sleeve
There used to be a signal there but I don’t think
I can receive it any longer

It’s the storm before the calm (don’t worry)
Just the storm before the calm
I know the hurt inside is a lousy way to feel alive
Ride that storm out till it’s gone